When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
These tits shall not be calmed
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
