dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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