Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
