Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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