i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
