well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
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You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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