I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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