Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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