I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
