I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
