I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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