You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
