I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
