i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
