I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
