he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
