i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize