Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There are leaves in my underwear?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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