I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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