hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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