I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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