i was born a porn star she said
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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