There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
