Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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