when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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