your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
