She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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