think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
