i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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