I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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