i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
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like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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