My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
