Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
