Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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