Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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