it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
