Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
