people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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