I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
