New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
