I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
