Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(469): View more from Texas

just do it

(1-469): View more from Texas

fine only cuz shes asian

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(406): View more from Montana

Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.

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(816): View more from Missouri

i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.

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(806): View more from Texas

What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???

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(989): View more from Michigan

there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere

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(543): View more from

So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?

(256): View more from Alabama

Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.

(543): View more from

You are an idiot.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!

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