I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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