your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I didn't shave. On purpose
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
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The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.