I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions