We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
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I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
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What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.