The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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