Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry burnquist764 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"

Fav 25 3989 917
share tweet
(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.

Fav 17 4427 1287
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"

Fav 15 4900 4359
share tweet
(231): View more from Michigan

You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches

Fav 4 1809 1453
share tweet
(561): View more from Florida

Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.

Fav 13 1845 1334
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center

Fav 9 2891 1186
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.

Fav 3 1444 789
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between

Fav 0 50 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE

Fav 0 88 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT