i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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