Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Shame - the story of my life.
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