he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.