He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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