The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
