Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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