oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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