After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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