I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
