i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
