I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
