I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
