i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
