I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
be right there i have to get my cape
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
