There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
