Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
