also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
