I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
