I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
